Scary Moment

A few weeks ago I was getting dressed and as I was doing so I found a grape sized lump in my left breast. I thought maybe I was over reacting so I asked my fiance for his opinon. He didn’t feel anything, quite obviously I was over reacting. Fast forward about three or four days. It was evening and I was changing into something a little more comfortable for the evening, Boo was in the shower. Everything from this moment on is so vivid!

I felt the lump again, I ran into the bathroom and swung open the shower curtain. He had his back to me so he was oblivious to what I’d just done. I touched his shoulder and made him jump. “BABE, FEEL THIS RIGHT HERE. PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT IMAGINING THIS!” I was freaking out. He felt the same thing. Very obviously there was something there, his eyes were huge, he was concerned.

“Call the doctor and get in to get that looked at. It could be serious!” him saying that didn’t help the situation at all. I called my aunt. I asked her who I should call my GP or the gynecologist, and I asked her specifically to NOT say a peep to my mother! The next morning I called the doctor and I got in that same day. He felt around, doing the usual “monthly” exam. He felt what I felt and he felt one more. I was scared to death.

“We’re going to send you in for a mammogram,” was his determination. “It may be just a cyst, but I want to be sure. We’d rather be sure now than come to a realization in two years that we didn’t do anything about it.” So, out I went with orders in hand. I called to schedule my appointment the next day. They couldn’t get me in for a week. So for the next week I would feel my lumps to see if they got any larger or if they would go away.

They were still there when I arrived at the hospital for my appointment. I’ve NEVER been as nervous going to the doctor as I was at this very moment. The lady asked me to have a seat she’d be right with me. She was admitting another person. She finished that up about five minutes later. I sat watching the clock. My appointment was for 2, it was now 2:25. I got up and walked to the desk. She apologized for forgetting about me and asked me to come with her.

She put me in this little “zen” room. I sat there listening to the fountains and the celtic music…..TERRIFIED. FINALLY, a lady came to get me. She handed me this cape thing and told me to put these beaded stickers on my nipples, she’d be right back. Why I thought to myself, it this woman is going to be fondling my breasts for the next 30 minutes does she have to leave the room while I take my top off? She comes back in explains to me what she’s going to be doing and squishes away at my breasts. I’m standing in contorted positions and she’s squeezing the hell outta my boobs with this machine. After about 30 minutes she tells me that she’s going to see the radiologist to stay like I am, he may want more pictures.

I sat and read an old issue of People and waited. She came back, of course he wanted more films. She repositioned, contorted, and squeezed the hell outta my breasts AGAIN. Then she told me the same thing, “I’m going to see the radiologist, stay as you are I will be back and he may want more films.” I picked the magazine back up and continued reading. She came back, this happened three more times. As you can imagine I am starting to get concerned and wondering why he keeps wanting more. She did finally tell me that I had really big breasts and that even though they squish the crap out of you there’s so much tissue and it’s still really thick. Finally we were finished………I thought.

She made sure I was covered with the cape thing, and told me to grab my stuff she was walking me two doors down. As she counted the doors I walked wondering what was going to happen next. I walked into this dark room where the ultrasound tech was patiently waiting. She went through her routine and as she was going over the right side she said to me……”Ooohhh…I need to go see the radiologist.” I’m laying there scared to death. Why is she getting the radiologist, and what is happening, I came in for two lumps in my left breast, now she’s worried about the right?

The radiologist comes in and introduces himself. I have NO IDEA what his name was, I couldn’t even tell you what he looked like. All I heard was, “I don’t know what to do with you. We’ve found something on the right in the ultrasound that isn’t showing in the mammogram. We are sure that the left is just fibrous cycsts, but we need to see you in six months to check your right side.” So with that I was left to get dressed and go on my way.

I was able to sleep a bit better than I had in the last week. I called my mom and told her all about it. She was not real happy that I haadn’t told her but I didn’t want her to freak out about anything that wasn’t really anything. We began talking about how they squeeze the hell outta your boobs and she started laughing. One of her friends who, “is barely a B whines about how it hurts”. It got me thinking, would it hurt that much worse if I wasn’t as big? All I know is that I’m not looking forward to February and again next August. I will be grateful if they tell me than that they won’t have to see me for another 8 years. Until then I am grateful that it didn’t seem to be anything cancerous. But to all my girlfriends out there, PLEASE make sure you do your self exams regularly.

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~ by tia0220 on August 13, 2010.

One Response to “Scary Moment”

  1. I freaked out the first time I found a lump in my left breast. It turned out to be a fibro-cystic cyst. They keep an eye on it and I get my mammogram every year. As a matter of fact I need to schedule as it is the end of August I am due to go!!
    You can never be to safe when it comes to a lump. I am glad you went to the Dr. and they took you seriously!!

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