Going Through Hell

Well you know those times when you feel like

There’s a sign there on your back

That says I don’t mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has

Things go from bad to worse

You think it can’t get worse than that

And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow

And you don’t know where you are

Used the needle of your compass, to sew up your broken heart

Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam

And she lies to you

That’s when you learn the truth

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going

Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it

You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there

I’ve been deep down in that darkness

I’ve been down to my last match

Felt a hundred different deamons breathin’ fire down my back

And I knew that if I stumbled I’d fall right into the trap

That they were layin’

But the good news is there’s angels everywhere out on the street

Holdin’ out a hand to pull you back up on your feet

The one’s that you’ve been draggin’ for so long

You’re on your knees might as well be prayin’

Guess what I’m sayin’

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going

Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it

You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there

When you’re goin’ through hell keep on movin’

Face that fire walk right through it

You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going

Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it

You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there

When you’re goin’ through hell keep on movin’

Face that fire walk right through it

You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there

You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there

This song is the perfect song for my life at the present time. HELL.

I’ve been going through some things lately anyways, but it just seems like if it’s not one thing it’s another. Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty alone. Boo and I have been on different schedules, so that’s been hard. Communication has fallen by the wayside. I’ve been a complete bitch, and it’s not been a good time!

I bought a used SUV in June, two days after I made my first payment, I got notification that my paychecks would be being garnished from now until the end of the year for city taxes that my ex never paid. It was before we were married or even lived together, but since he’s out of a job and the can’t garnish him and we are technically still married, I have to pay.

A couple weeks ago I was in the shower and I felt a lump on my left breast. I kind of freaked out about it but the next day I couldn’t find it anymore. A few days later I was changing and just so happened to find it again. I asked Boo to feel to make sure I wasn’t crazy. Sure enough there it was. I went to my GP and he’s sent me to get a mammogram and an ultrasound. Neither of which are covered by insurance since I am not “old enough”. I have to pay part of the balance upfront. That’s going to set me back on rent and bills even further. I can only pray that my landlord will inderstand and work with me. I haven’t told my parents because I don’t want them to freak out. I did just find anouther bigger one yesterday in the same vicinity.

I’ve been applying for night time jobs to supplement my income, but the Cleveland economy sucks. Some things are going to have to go. We already got rid of phone and internet at home. Cable will be the next to go which will suck tremendously since we work opposite schedules. The house will be far too quiet.

I’ve got some “projects” that I took on, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to complete them by the deadline. Some are nearing completion as their deadlines approach, the one BIG one though. Needs to be done in 21 days. There’s no way that will even likely happen.

I was hoping to start back to school in January, that doesn’t look like it will happen. I have too much to catch up on before I can even begin to think about paying for school too. In just over a month, we will be making a road trip to Iowa for the birth of our neice and the wedding of my aunt. I am completely overwhelmed by this. I can’t ever remember having my foot this far into the depths of hell.

If you are a praying person, please pray that in time things will improve and that my tests come back clean. I appreciate it.

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~ by tia0220 on August 3, 2010.

One Response to “Going Through Hell”

  1. its not much but “hugs”…. I hope things work out for the better for you….

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