Nothing Is Ever Good Enough Vol. 2

Wednesday my mom called and left me a message. She kept hearing about the serial killer in Cleveland and wanted to know where he was, hopefully far far away from me. I called my parents back on Thursday. My dad was going on in the background about don’t worry them like that. Apparently they hadn’t listened to the whole story. I talked to them on Sunday, the guy was picked up Saturday.

I chatted a bit with my dad which is a rare occurence because he’s pretty much deaf. He asked me what I was doing, I guess I was making noises loud enough for him to hear. I told him I was loading my laundry, it had been nearly three weeks since I actually DID laundry. I mean I did a load or two to get me by, but I REALLY had to do laundry! He threw in a dig about I wouldn’t me  having to go to the laundromat. “That’s the price you pay for living there.”

He then asked me what I knew about Christmas break. I told him that I wouldn’t be able to make it back this year as our office is small, I am the lowest on the totem, and I got to have it off last year. In all reality, I am too scared to ask because of my probationary period. I did however mention that I was thinking about driving home for Thanksgiving since we get off a couple hours early the day before and we have the day after off. We chatted a bit more about whatever and he handed me off to my mother.

“Not making it home for Christmas huh? I was looking at flights that will put you here on Christmas day and send you home Monday.” I assured her that I wouldn’t be able to make it, but I told her I was thinking about coming home for Thanksgiving. We continued talking about whatever. She said something about Christmas again and how it sucks for me to be so far away, etc. I reiterated that I was thinking of driving home for Thanksgiving. She hadn’t heard me the first time. That would be wonderful, she exclaimed. This is where all hell breaks loose:

“Do you mind if I bring Dude with me so he can help drive?”

“Your dad is shaking his head no,” my mom told me. “Here you better talk to him.” My dad gets back on the phone and proceeds to tell me that he ABSOLUTELY doesn’t approve of interracial dating, marriage etc. He isn’t comfortable with it, etc. I asked if we were to stay elsewhere and just join the family for Thanksgiving……NO was the definite answer.

I don’t like it, if you want a different answer you need to talk to someone else.

Who else am I going to talk to dad? It’s your house.

I guess your mom, I could hear her in the background telling him she didn’t want to talk. The conversation went on, he doesn’t make enough money, he’s got kids so he must have a wife, where’s his family that he wants to come to Iowa for a holiday for? On and on, finally after all the questions and stabs had been answered it got quiet.

Dad, are you there?

Yes I am still here. Again, silence.

I don’t have anything else to say you are entitled to your opinion.

Yep, I love you, CLICK.

I was mad, hurt, then my blood began boiling. I called my aunt because the best friend that I really wanted to cry to has SO much on her plate that my issues are miniscule. My aunt didn’t answer, but then she called right back. Thank goodness, I was about to explode with rage. Luckily I was in public so crying was NOT an option.

She couldn’t believe that they’d yet again told me not to come home. She wasn’t surprised, but still. I am their daughter they should accept my choices. They’ve both acknowledged that he’s done more for me than either of my ex husband’s. It’s fine I told her, I will just stay here and be with my other “family” who’s accepting of me even though I am the white girl. She wondered if they knew that they were only pushing me farther away. We talked about us still coming home but not going to my parents. I don’t want to put her in an uncomfortable situation. She told me to email them and tell it like it is.

Dude wanted to go to Iowa because he’s never been there, and in all reality, he wanted to move there and was willing to go there because he knew that that’s where my family wanted me to be. Then she told me to tell them it’s a package deal. I haven’t written that email yet. I am a firm believer of that “let it settle for 24 hours” rule before you make any rash decisions. After 6pm tonight who knows.

This morning I was online for a minute and I got a message from my aunt. If you guys want to come home for Thanksgiving, we will stay here and cook. We want to meet dude, and we want you to be able to come home if you want to come home. I know it won’t be HOME, but I am fine with you coming. It won’t be the first time I piss off your parents and it certainly won’t be the last. I was nearly in tears.

Dude and I will have to discuss what we will actually do. We won’t be able to give definitive answers until after the 18th when he has a corporate meeting to see if he’ll be heading to California for a few weeks. But, I am thinking that this may just be a possibility. It’s going to hurt to go home, yet not really go home, but I am not sure there’s any other way to get the point across.

The other thing that hurts me is that when I am on the phone with my parents and dude is with me he will tell me to tell them he says hello. If you don’t approve of it, don’t acknowledge. Don’t act like all is peachy. And, they are such big Christians, they need to act like it. I guess that letter I wrote a couple months ago that I was told was great and I should send, should have been sent. At least that was written with a little less anger behind it. This one: Who’s to say what may be said?

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~ by tia0220 on November 6, 2009.

2 Responses to “Nothing Is Ever Good Enough Vol. 2”

  1. Hey, you. I actually tried to call you Saturday afternoon to chat.

    I’m sorry babe. 😦 We’re not going home for Christmas either this year.

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