I’m Proud

You text me Saturday to tell you that you were pretty sure you just bought a house. I told you that was awesome, and you replied back yeah, and scary. I know what I felt like the day that I sat down with my then husband and our realtor to sign our papers. I had knots in my stomach, knots of anticipation and anxiety. And, I am way more of a free spirited, risk taker than you ever will be so I know you must be on pins and needles.

Sunday I asked you how it felt after you’d slept on it for a day. You were a bit more excited, but still a little nervous. I picked up the phone to hear your voice and assure you that it would be okay. To my surprise you answered. We talked about your new house and your excitement, I should have told you I was proud of you.

At just 26 years old, you have a great career, doing what you love. You have a beautiful wife that’s just graduated from college and is making a name for herself in her field, and now this. A beautiful home just doors from the entrance to your golf course. I am proud of you, and I love you.

There are times when I am so mad at you for being so stubborn. I know you don’t like my “choices” and I know that this is a reason that we are no longer close. I remember a conversation I had with mom one day about you. She told me that you felt like since you’ve graduated from high school you’ve MAYBE seen me a handful of times. After that conversation and my visit home for Christmas, I made a conscious effort to be more of the big sister I should be. I tried to call, text, etc. but most of the time I didn’t get an answer or a response. After a while I gave up. But, know that I gave up because knowing that you miss me makes my heart hurt. It pains me to not KNOW my little brother as a man. Starting today I am going to make more of an effort to be in better contact with you. I am going to call you once a week, because there are things that we need to talk about. Things that I’ve been too much of a coward to come out and say. And the first thing I am going to tell you is, baby brother, you make me proud!

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~ by tia0220 on August 13, 2009.

One Response to “I’m Proud”

  1. CRYING now. Jeez.

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